Having a Wheel of a Time

Enrolled in driving class yesterday after procastinating for months, maybe even years. Also, yesterday was the red-letter "FiRST-DAY-IN-NEW-JOB-AFTER-FIVE-MONTHS-UNEMPLOYMENT day".
Was speaking to P the previous night, wishing her luck for her first day in new office. Typically she asked, are you nervous about job. I say I'm not, not nervous, not happy, not sad, not nothing. Just relieved that from now on there will be a pay check to my name every month and I will no longer have to leech off S. Tis sad, but that's about he only drive I have left to make myself go in to work. Love of the job, the idea of making a difference, all that stuff which made me become a journalist have disappeared somewhere, and I wish I knew how to get it back.
Anyway, driving lesson was kind of ... fun?!?! Was a nervous wreck behind the wheel. was gripping the steering wheel so hard that I thought my knuckles would crack. The instructor was a kindly man who kept making encouraging comments.
In the afternoon, office was pretty ok, except for the nearly non-existent dirty, stinky loo. Was kicked that I had not forgotten the systems and the commands. I guess I was being sized up by one and all. But I have decided, this time round will be emotionally detaching myself from the workplace, I will do what is required and leave office worries behind in office, not carry them back home as I am already carrying around excess emotional baggage.
Coming to that, last night had a mother of all rows with S. I have no clue what sparked it off but there it was and it just kept spiralling out of control. It's just too crazy. I hate who I have become, I was never ever like this. Never.
I wish I was more religious or something so that I could find an outlet for all that is there inside me.